Hurting or Healing
Over the last few years, I have learned that the majority of people in life carry some kind of hurt. Most people just learn to carry that hurt around and never really process or unpack it. Most people typically just accept or deal with the hurt that they have experienced, and never go beyond the situation. If a person does not analize and process a specific hurt or environment, then they can go through life passing that hurt along, because they never thought, or took the time to process the it.
On the flip side, a few people will actually take the time to process past hurts, and learn to understand the source of the hurt and the implications. Many families have patterns that have existed and been passed down for years and generations. Oftentimes, the common phrase that is used is, ‘That’s the way we have always done it, or that’s the way it’s always been done.’ There are patterns and tendencies in every family and environment, and unfortunately, some can be negative and harmful. Some can be crippling to the soul, heart, and mind of those brought up in those environments.
If these types of situations and environments are never addressed or analyzed, then those same patterns and environments are bound to continue and be passed on. “Hurt people, hurt people.’ This quote is profoundly deep. What it says is that individuals who are hurting and have been hurt, will continue to be hurt and hurt other people that they are around regularly. However, if someone recognizes and realizes that there has been a wound inflicted, and decides to seek healing, then the wound has a chance to heal, and that specific harmful pattern or tendency can actually be corrected.
Oftentimes, we can carry something from our childhood into adulthood without even thinking about it. We can carry past wounds and patterns into marriages and even pass those same things onto our own children without even realizing it. Harmful patterns, tendencies, and choices can be passed on from one generation to the next, for generations, without even being addressed. However, when properly addressed and corrected, the once harmful things can lead to growth and more intimate relationships.
What do you do, if you realize that there are toxic behaviors or tendencies within your relationships or continuing in yourself? Seek honest and practical help. There are a bountiful amount of resources that can help to turn harm and hurt into healing. There are also plenty of other resources as well, some of these are people. Counselors and pastors who have vast experience, especially with family and relationship dynamics are great places to go for help and growth. Being open, honest, and receptive to guidance is a key factor in the process of turning hurt into growth and healing. If you are not open to making changes or receiving insight, it may greatly hinder the process and outcome.
Healing can eventually allow you to help others. Your growth can lead to helping someone else to grow and heal. Sometimes we have to be willing to be vulnerable and open up about the past, in order to shape and correct the future. Choosing to continue in old patterns will only let those past hurts to linger and be passed on. Breaking the cycles that have been passed down can be one of the greatest blessings for you, and those in your own family. Choosing to overcome personal obstacles can lead to greater things in the future! Turning and transforming past hurts into healing is one of the most liberating and beneficial processes that we can experience as people!
So what about you? Are there areas of hurt and harm that you still carry from the past with you today? Are there areas that need to be addressed and corrected? What would it take to be the one who rises up and breaks the cycles? Are you the one who would be willing to seek help and change, in order to benefit and change the future?
Things will not change until we are willing to. Choosing not to change or not to break harmful cycles will only perpetuate the cycles. The choice is up to you. What do you want for the future? The choice is yours. The future, your future, and your family’ future is in the balance.