Change the World

I heard this question earlier this week: ‘If you could go back to when you were 18, and you could tell yourself just three words, what would you say?’ My answer was: ‘Change the world.’ What would you say to your younger self?

Here is why I would tell my younger self to ‘Change the world.’ I have realized that I am one of a kind. So are you. I was made for more (than being average). So are you. Maximize every day and opportunity, there are no do-overs.

Each one of us in made specifically and intentionally. Out of eight billion people in the world right now, there is no one else exactly like you. We are all created, one-of-a-kind, original. There never was another you, and there will never be another you.

With that being said, you may want to ask why. Personally, I believe we are all made for more. If we all are made and designed uniquely, then perhaps we were made to be unique and not average. Often times we can forget that we have been gifted differently, and we can settle or do what everyone else expects. You are a one-of-a-kind, original, never forget that.

I have also realized over the course of my life, that time flies! If you get married, it goes faster. And if you have kids, it seems to move at warp speed! Learn to maximize each day and opportunity that you are given. There is not a rewind or do-over button for life. Once a moment or opportunity passes, it is gone. Wasted time and opportunities lead to regrets. But time and opportunities that are maximized lead to pleasant and cherished adventures and memories!

If you want to change the world, it starts with making a few small changes. Understand that you were made uniquely, and very intentionally. If you were made unique, then your purpose is also unique. Learn to never settle and learn to look for ways to put your abilities to good use. Learn to maximize your time and opportunities! Small changes and adjustments over time can lead to bigger impacts and even shift the course of your life. The bottom line; God does not make mistakes. He made you. He made you unique. He gave you one life to live! Believe me when i say this, He put you here, to change the world!

Recipe For Growth

In last week’s blog, we looked at the dangers of the comfort zone. The very thing that feels comfortable, could be what is holding you back from growing and achieving your full potential. The comfort zone breeds complacency, stagnation, lack of purpose or direction, and stifles your growth. In order to go beyond and grow beyond the limitations of your comfort zone; things have to change, and you have to change.

Many people look to find inspiration and motivation to help them jump start their process of growth. Though these are two good places to start, they will not get you to where you need to go. Inspiration and motivation will eventually fade and weaken in their effect. The character trait that you need to develop is discipline. Discipline is the personal and often strict training that is used to produce a specific character or pattern of behavior, especially training that produces moral or mental improvement. Often the main trait developed is self control. Discipline allows to focus our energy and effort on our pursuits, and not wasting our energy and effort on things that steal and waste our energy and focus. Discipline and self-control will keep you doing what you need to do, when you’re not feeling inspired or motivated.

Another key to growth is taking action. Many times people will hope and wait around to see if something will change. Change and growth happen when you take action. Change will always lead to change. First, you will need to take some time and consider what direction you want to go, and what results you would like to see. Then, you will need to take some time and see what current things need to change. Once you identify what needs to change, you have to change those things that you use to do, and figure our what new things you have to become disciplined in.

Another part of growth is making the choice and decision to move. It may be physically relocating. It may be in regard to the limitations that you have put on yourself, or that you have allowed others to put on you. But either way, you have to move beyond your comfort zone. Remember, your comfort zone will hold you back, even if you do not realize it at this moment. Choosing to move may seem unsettling and uncertain, but it will result in change and growth.

One of my favorite quotes is this: ‘A ship in harbor is safe, but that is not what ships are built for.’ A ship in a harbor is tied down, stagnant and unmoving. A ship in harbor is rocked gently by little rolling waves. A ship in harbor, long-term, is not heading anywhere or serving a purpose. But a ship has purpose, direction, and destiny, when it is untied from the dock and leaves the safety of the harbor. A ship is made to be on the sea, moving and heading to another destination.

You too have a greater purpose. You have been made for more. It is time to set sail. It is time to grow! Develop discipline. Make necessary changes. Get moving! Do these few things and you will be glad that you did! You will be amazed where you will go and the things that you will do!

Dangers of The Comfort Zone

Two quotes that have shaped my perspective, especially in regard to my personal comfort zone are: ‘Life begins at the end of your comfort zone.’ (Walsch) And, ‘A comfort zone is a beautiful place, but nothing ever grows there.’ (unknown) The comfort zone, is literally just that, a zone of comfortability. It is a term that has the idea of being in a state of being where one is comfortable and not challenging oneself or being challenged by others.

Most people tend to enjoy living within the confines of their perceived comfort zone. However, the choice to remain in one’s zone of comfortability has a number of negative consequences. First is complacency. Second is stagnation. Third is lack of direction. Fourth is no drive, purpose, or passion. Lastly, one becomes dull and soft. Let me explain. Complacency is becoming satisfied in a situation and this prevents one from trying harder. Stagnation is the state of being motionless and results from the lack of movement or progress. Where there is no flow or action, there is no direction being pursued. When someone becomes complacent, stagnant, and has no direction, it is usually in part to there being no drive, purpose, or passion by an individual. There is little if any personal growth that occurs in the comfort zone.

The comfort zone can be quite hazardous on an individual level. In regard to growth, achieving goals, or making changes, the comfort zone can be down right deadly!

Elanor Roosevelt said, ‘Do one thing everyday that scares you.’ There are two things that someone needs to do in order to move beyond their comfort zone. First, identify what your comfort zone is comprised of. Second, take action beyond your self imposed limitation. Growth and change both result from taking action and pressing into the fears that you have. Taking daily action beyond your comfort level will force you to grow, change, and mature. If you take Elanor Roosevelt’s advice, you will continually be in the process of growing and changing.

Your comfort zone will limit you. Going beyond your comfort zone moves you into a limitless space of potential. We all have the same choice. We can settle in our comfort zone. There you will fall into routine and stagnation. Or you can challenge yourself. You can choose to challenge yourself and see who you can become, who you can impact, and never settle. Challenging your limits can be pretty wild and exciting, even unpredictable. Which sounds better to you?

How do you need to challenge yourself? What self imposed limits do you need to push and move beyond? How might your life be better if you choose to grow? How might your life remain the same or regress if you decide to remain exactly where you are today, doing the same things that you are doing today, for years and years?

Pleasure or Purpose

Whether it makes sense to you or not, one way we can look at and approach life is this, either it is all about pleasure or it is about purpose. Pleasure is the pursuit of that which will lead you and me to seek out those things that will lead to a thrill and temporary feeling of satisfaction. Purpose is the pursuit and doing those things which you and I have been made to do, and a way to live. Pleasure and purpose have a pretty different trajectory, and the pursuit of either will lead to a different destination. Let me explain.

Pleasure is the desire to fulfill a temporary longing for a thrill or achieving a level of temporary satisfaction. Pleasure leans toward the idea of being more selfish, seeking self-pleasure and quick and momentary gratification. Pleasure is a short-lived, momentary experience. Pleasure is generally tied to one’s senses and experiences.

Purpose is the state of being where one has a distinct direction and focus. Purpose also has a long-term timeline, rather than a short-term quick event. Purpose is a lifestyle, a long-term state of action and existence. Purpose is generally tied to one’s lifestyle and choices.

The difference between the two is their focus. One is based on the temporary experience. The other is based on the long-term. One is self-centered, the other is others-centered. One is focused on what the experience will do for themself, the other is focused on what the impact could be for others. One is focused on the sensory experience, and the other is focused on using abilities and character to impact others.

Unfortunately, our world tends to focus on living in the moment and seeking the short-term pleasures. I have found that living with purpose and living on purpose is extremely satisfying, and far less fleeting than the momentary pleasures that are waved in our faces every single day. Also, I would like to highlight the fact that living with purpose is extrememly rewarding and satisfying! Living on purpose sounds a little less exciting, but it is actually pretty fulfilling, it just takes a little more intentionality and more intentional choices.

Some of the best examples that demonstrate the difference between living for pleasure or living with greater purpose are elite-level athletes like collegiate and Olympic wrestlers. These athletes will go into strict, intense, long work out sessions to sharpen their skills. They will endure grueling cardio sessions to achieve peak-level conditioning. They will cut out excessive, extra, and any unnecessary food and liquids to be in the best shape, condition, and strength possible. They live with purpose and for the purpose of competing with intensity! They would rather live with purpose than live for pleasure. They are focused on their goals and will sacrifice whatever is necessary in order to give themselves the best chance of success and victory.

How about you? Pleasure or purpose? The choice is yours. One is short-term and will leave you wanting more. The other is long-term focused and will lead to greater rewards and benefits. Keep this in mind the next time that you are faced with a choice and have to make a decision, will it be pleasure or purpose? Pick wisely.

Write it Down

In this rat race of a life that we live, it can be difficult and almost impossible to focus on one single thing at a time. It seems like there is always something to do, somewhere to go, or something coming up in the near future. From our waking moments, it seems that there is a looming message: Go, go, go! If we are not careful and intentional, our daily routines can be sabotaged and hijacked by the business of our schedules.

One of the greatest lessons that I have learned over the past few seasons of life is this: If it is important, write it down. Then, put it where you will see it throughout the day. There are so many benefits to writing things down on paper or notecards. Whether it is a goal, dream, or something that you want to prioritize, writing it down will make a mental and physical connection as you put your pen to paper and write it down. Then take the paper and put it somewhere that you will be able to see it several times a day. Seeing your goals, dreams, or priorities several times a day will allow your mind to stay focused on them throughout the day. Seeing them every day allows you to be reminded and engaged every day.

The old saying, ‘Out of sight, out of mind,’ is the exact opposite of writing it down. Writing something down and intentionally placing it to be seen leads to action and results. Occasionally thinking about something and forgetting about it leads to inaction and no results. When you do not have reminders, you will tend to drift away from those things that you want to achieve or do. Without prompts or reminders, you can easily forget and lose focus on those things that you want to pursue.

Vision boards, pictures, spreadsheets, and strategic game plans are all good ways to keep your goals in front of you. I have several reminders in various places that I use on a daily basis. Every morning, as I get ready for work, I have several notecards in my bathroom cabinet that have reminders, priorities, and things to pray about listed on them. As I brush my teeth and groom my beard, I am reminded of things that I want to focus on, improve on, and pray for. In my car, I have a notecard that I look at before I get out of my car and go into my house to be with my family, after I arrive home from work. The notecard has reminders to engage, interact, do, and be as a father and husband each night as we spend time together. This reminder helps me to focus and check in rather than check out when I go home.

Someone once told me that, ‘the dullest pencil, is better than the sharpest mind.’ Writing something down will help ensure that you see it. While trying to remember something may result in you actually forgetting what it is, or what you intended to do. Taking time to write something out and put it where you will see it, will help you to recall, focus, engage and be more intentional about it and following through with it.

One other benefit to writing down your goals and things to work towards, is that it makes it very easy to track your personal progress. Seeing where you started and where you want to go allows you to see your progress and check where you currently stand.

What things do you need to write down and keep track of? How could actually taking the time and effort to write out some goals or things to focus on be of benefit to you?

Plan and Prepare

In any area of life, moving, changing jobs or careers, marriage, or pursuing goals and dreams, planning and preparing are part of the path forward. Two of my favorite quotes about planning and preparing are: ‘If you fail to plan, then you plan to fail.’ (Ben Franklin) Along with ‘If given six hours to chop down a tree, I would spend the first four hours sharpening my axe.’ (Abe Lincoln) Both of these quotes have significant insight and worth. Both involve the idea of thinking and planning ahead for intentional, future action.

Learning to plan and prepare is essential to growth and progress in any area of life. As Ben Franklin basically said, if you do not plan (ahead) then you are pretty much counting on not having eventual success. Without prior planning, you will perform poorly. There is an art and necessary skill to looking ahead and putting together a plan to move forward. Without planning or preparing your approach, your actions will be sporadic, chaotic, spontaneous, and may actually harm your progress moving forward.

Looking ahead, planning, analyzing, and preparing to make moves or pursue greater things, taking the time to put a plan together will be of great benefit. No plan is perfect. But having a plan is something that will help you to stay focused and take specific actions. Learning to plan and prepare will save you time, energy, and will prevent you from making costly mistakes. Learning to plan and prepare ahead of time is an indication of maturity and wisdom.

On the flip side, failure to plan and prepare is a sign of immaturity and a lack of wisdom. Failing to plan and prepare will cause you to be more reckless, waste your time, your energy, and your effort. Someone who plans efficiently wastes little and gains much. Someone who does not plan, wastes much. Conversely, the one who plans is vastly more efficient in their actions, while the one who fails to plan is not efficient and will struggle in what they do or how they go about it.

The bible says it like this in Luke 14:28: ‘But don’t begin until you count the cost. For who would begin construction of a building without first calculating the cost to see if there is enough money to finish it?’ It would be extremely foolish and counterproductive to make decisions without planning ahead and analyzing the entire process and desired outcome. Planning and preparing to take action shows wisdom and maturity, and ensures a better outcome. Failure to plan reveals reckless choices and immaturity, resulting in uncertainty and frustration.

Pace Yourself

The old saying goes, ‘Slow and steady wins the race.’ The old tale of the Tortoise and the Hare warns us well. Though I would not say that going slow is the way to go, it is better than staying put. But trying to slam, cram, and jam as much activity into your schedule and routine can be quite harmful to your growth and progress.

There are, and will always be, seasons throughout life that are more demanding of your time and energy. There will be times when things arise that are unexpected and unseen. Adjust. Simply make short-term adjustments, until the situation is resolved or properly addressed.

Life is a marathon, not a short sprint to the finish line. In a marathon, runners will set a pace to run the race that is brisk, and steady. Marathon runners do not sporadically, or randomly change their pace throughout the race. You will not see them running, walking, and sprinting. You will notice that they set a deliberate, brisk, and steady pace for the duration of the race. This is a great approach when it comes to pursuing goals, fine-tuning your schedule, or making necessary adjustments in life.

Sprinting sporadically in a marathon is not an ideal game plan for success. Similarly, putting too much into your schedule and routine will leave you burned out and exhausted mentally, physically, and even emotionally. Trying to sprint your way through everything that you cram into your schedule will take a heavy toll, really quickly. Have you ever watched someone make a New Year’s resolution about their health and weight? They hit the gym with great zeal and excitement, but quickly give up because they do not see immediate or incredible results. If they would have chosen to set some longer-term goals and established an approach that was more progressive than aggressive, their success would have been more likely.

Most people realize that there are seasons to the lives that we live. Not everything can be done during each and every season of life. Sometimes we have other priorities or things that take a higher precedent during one season or another. For example, having children will significantly affect your life, your goals, and how you prioritize things in your schedule. Having kids requires a lot of focus, energy, work, and effort. While your kids are at home, they are one of your top priorities. Once they move out of your home, you will find more time to do or pursue other things.

Sometimes, you may be able to push your pace and make more intentional adjustments. For me, the weekends provide this opportunity. I get up at the same time that I do during the week. I have a three-hour window between when I wake up, and when my family starts to wake up. During this time I usually help straighten up the house, do dishes, and fold laundry. Once I finish with those, I will start working on my weekly blog, work on writing a book (if I am at that time), and work out. I take that three-hour window and maximize it. How about you? Is there a window of opportunity during your week where you can put in some extra, intentional work toward your goals?

When it comes to achieving your goals, it takes time. It will take work. It will take practice. It also means that you will have to make adjustments. These are all part of the process. You will need to set a pace that is manageable and also allows you to grow and make personal progress toward goals. Do not get burned out by trying to get too much done in an unrealistic amount of time. Pace yourself. Push yourself. But do not fall into the trap of trying to do too much or overloading your schedule and routine.

Focused or Distracted

One of the largest indicators for the direction and movement of your life will be what you focus on. What we choose to focus on, who we focus on, and where we focus our attention and energy will directly affect our life’s direction and choices. What do you tend to give more attention to: blessings or problems? Opportunities or obstacles?

What we focus on in the different seasons of our lives will directly affect our choices, actions, and perspectives throughout that season. If all you ever focus on during difficult seasons of life is the challenges, then you may tend to become negative in your outlook and daily actions. If you can look at the blessings that you have and not the negatives of the situations that you may be facing, that will shift your focus and your attitude.

When it comes to facing obstacles and challenges in your life, do you see it as a roadblock? Or do you see it as an opportunity? Two great books that I would encourage you to read, if you find yourself in this situation are: “The Obstacle is the Way’ (Ryan Holiday), and “In a Pit with a Lion on a Snowy Day’ (Mark Batterson). These books challenge the reader to see an obstacle as possibly being the actual journey and path to a destination. Pushing into challenges and hard situations may lead to greater growth and a shift in one’s focus.

Having a focus that is set on greater growth and achievement will have multiple benefits. Being focused will allow you to weather challenges and seasons that come your way as you live your life. Athletes and entrepreneurs are two types of people who know the importance of having the ability to focus on their goals and aspirations. Athletes and entrepreneurs are able to stay focused on their priorities, even in the midst of challenges, difficulties, and misfortunes. Minor inconveniences are things that may arise, but the ability to stay focused on long-term goals will keep short-term interruptions from derailing the process. Temporary pain may try to interfere, but having long-term focus will help us to stay in a state of growth.

Have you ever thought about the things that pop up and distract you from your goals or calling? What do you need to do when these things come up? Do you have a plan? Are you focused on growth and goals? If you are, are there things that seem to distract and derail your growth and progress on a regular basis? What do you need to do when these things happen? Being focused will help you manage the various distractions that you encounter. Being distracted will pull you farther from your goals and calling in life.

Hurting or Healing

Over the last few years, I have learned that the majority of people in life carry some kind of hurt. Most people just learn to carry that hurt around and never really process or unpack it. Most people typically just accept or deal with the hurt that they have experienced, and never go beyond the situation. If a person does not analize and process a specific hurt or environment, then they can go through life passing that hurt along, because they never thought, or took the time to process the it.

On the flip side, a few people will actually take the time to process past hurts, and learn to understand the source of the hurt and the implications. Many families have patterns that have existed and been passed down for years and generations. Oftentimes, the common phrase that is used is, ‘That’s the way we have always done it, or that’s the way it’s always been done.’ There are patterns and tendencies in every family and environment, and unfortunately, some can be negative and harmful. Some can be crippling to the soul, heart, and mind of those brought up in those environments.

If these types of situations and environments are never addressed or analyzed, then those same patterns and environments are bound to continue and be passed on. “Hurt people, hurt people.’ This quote is profoundly deep. What it says is that individuals who are hurting and have been hurt, will continue to be hurt and hurt other people that they are around regularly. However, if someone recognizes and realizes that there has been a wound inflicted, and decides to seek healing, then the wound has a chance to heal, and that specific harmful pattern or tendency can actually be corrected.

Oftentimes, we can carry something from our childhood into adulthood without even thinking about it. We can carry past wounds and patterns into marriages and even pass those same things onto our own children without even realizing it. Harmful patterns, tendencies, and choices can be passed on from one generation to the next, for generations, without even being addressed. However, when properly addressed and corrected, the once harmful things can lead to growth and more intimate relationships.

What do you do, if you realize that there are toxic behaviors or tendencies within your relationships or continuing in yourself? Seek honest and practical help. There are a bountiful amount of resources that can help to turn harm and hurt into healing. There are also plenty of other resources as well, some of these are people. Counselors and pastors who have vast experience, especially with family and relationship dynamics are great places to go for help and growth. Being open, honest, and receptive to guidance is a key factor in the process of turning hurt into growth and healing. If you are not open to making changes or receiving insight, it may greatly hinder the process and outcome.

Healing can eventually allow you to help others. Your growth can lead to helping someone else to grow and heal. Sometimes we have to be willing to be vulnerable and open up about the past, in order to shape and correct the future. Choosing to continue in old patterns will only let those past hurts to linger and be passed on. Breaking the cycles that have been passed down can be one of the greatest blessings for you, and those in your own family. Choosing to overcome personal obstacles can lead to greater things in the future! Turning and transforming past hurts into healing is one of the most liberating and beneficial processes that we can experience as people!

So what about you? Are there areas of hurt and harm that you still carry from the past with you today? Are there areas that need to be addressed and corrected? What would it take to be the one who rises up and breaks the cycles? Are you the one who would be willing to seek help and change, in order to benefit and change the future?

Things will not change until we are willing to. Choosing not to change or not to break harmful cycles will only perpetuate the cycles. The choice is up to you. What do you want for the future? The choice is yours. The future, your future, and your family’ future is in the balance.

Consider the Source

One of the biggest and most important steps of planning for the future, as well as your goals, is to seek out insight and perspective from others. The majority of people tend to make a couple of mistakes when it comes to this aspect of gathering insight. Getting the right information, from the right people will have a huge impact, not only on the outcome, but also on your perspective and approach.

One of the biggest mistakes, perhaps even the greatest mistake we can make is taking bad advice from people who have little or no personal experience pertaining to our specific goals or aspirations. We tend to lean heavily on the opinions and input from those who we are around the most. However, we neglect to consider whether or not they have first-hand experience and knowledge. Most people are willing to share their opinions and thoughts about almost any topic. But, without experience and intimate knowledge, someone’s thoughts and opinions are only, their thoughts and opinions.

Another mistake that is often made is that we can tend to let others’ negative or uncertain opinions about ourselves, or our goals shape our approach and often the outcome. If we take bad advice from negative people who have little or no experience, what do you think the impact would be on your thoughts, actions, and the outcome of our efforts?

Bad advice from nice people, is still bad advice. You want to gain wisdom, knowledge, insight, and perspective from people who have extensive or intimate knowledge. Everyone you know will have an opinion. However, you do not want to take the wrong advice. You want to gain the right information, from the right people!

You will never receive discouragement or bad advice from those who are already doing what you want to. The people who are already pursuing their calling, goals, and other ambitions are typically very willing to share their first-hand knowledge with others. These individuals are the ones that you want to locate, connect with, listen to, and follow. Good advice from wise individuals will be one of the greatest assets that you can benefit from as you engage with your greater pursuits.

If you are considering the possibility of beginning to set goals or take action more intentionally, consider the source where you decide to go for input and advice. Bad advice from the wrong people could sideline or derail your goals and journey. The right advice from the right people could launch your goals and pursuits and take you beyond what you ever thought was possible!

Be the One

Have you ever found yourself looking around and asking if anyone is going to do anything about a situation? Or if anyone is going to step up and change the cycles that exist in your family, at work, or other places where you find yourself?

Here is what I have noticed, most people tend to look around for others to step up or step in and try to resolve or handle the situation. Most people continue tolerating cycles and environments that are not healthy or beneficial. Most people also tend to believe that they are not qualified to try and break cycles or make a significant difference in various situations. Most people also tend to feel inadequate to step beyond their comfort zone, into their fears, or the unknown. Most people would rather stay where they are, doing what they have always done, rather than try something new or different. And most people are typically afraid to go against the flow of what everyone else does or expects.

Most people tend to avoid those things that scare them, intimidate them, or go against the social norms of society.

My suggestion would be as follows. Go for it. Do it. Try it. Take a chance. Give your best effort. Try new things. Do not be afraid to try new things. Do not be afraid to stand out. Do not be afraid to get out of your self-perceived limits and comfort zone.

You have no idea what you can accomplish if you try. You have no idea what might happen if you try. You have no idea who might be affected if you try.

But, I can guarantee that if you keep doing what you have always done, then you will continue to be in the exact same place that you have always been.

You may be the one who is the difference maker. You may be the one who breaks the cycle. You may be the one who is the light in the darkness. You may be the one who sparks a change or revolution. It all starts with the choice to be the one. Make the choice, and then take action.

You are far too special, unique, and talented to go through the motions in this life. You are far too amazing to be confined by the status quo or other’s opinions. Be bold. Be courageous. Break the mold. Break through the limits of your comfort zone. Be the one who steps up, and steps out. Be the one who shows others how to go above and beyond! Make the decision, and BE THE ONE!

Busy or Productive

Unfortunately, in our current society, it is almost assumed that you must always be busy doing something. It is a norm of our culture to always have something going on or be going somewhere for something. We are notorious for running around and being on the go, all the time. The question that I think needs to be asked is this: “Is what I am doing, or what I am planning to do, necessary and beneficial?’ Or is it just another thing to do and a place to go?

We have become so accustomed to non-stop business, that we do not even ask ourselves if what we are doing is beneficial or necessary. Our schedules are jam-packed with events and activities, running around here, there, and everywhere.

Being busy, is not necessarily a bad thing. In fact, I agree with the old saying: ‘Idle hands are the devil’s workshop.’ Being lazy and bored often leads to mischief or poor decisions. However, being busy, for the sake of being busy or keeping a packed schedule is also a poor practice. Being busy, without purpose wastes precious time and takes away opportunities for intentional interaction and growth.

Rather than filling up our schedules, perhaps we should pause for a second and ask ourselves if what we are doing is going to have a lasting benefit. Being busy for the sake of being busy is an endless and empty cycle.

Instead of finding ways to be busy and fill up our weekly schedules, perhaps it is time to evaluate our schedules and see what things are genuinely productive and beneficial. You can start by asking some of the following questions:

• Does this (event/ activity) have a legitimate value?

• Does this (event/activity) have a legitimate benefit for me or my family?

• Does this (event/ activity) help to grow or foster me or my family in a positive way?

• Does this (event/ activity) encourage me or my family?

• Does this (event/ activity) fill me up and reinvigorate me, or does it drain me and my family?

Choosing to be productive, not just busy, has value and intentionality behind our choices and what we put in our schedules. Being productive is basing our decisions on value and purpose. Being productive uses and invests our time, effort, and energy. Productivity produces action and results. Busyness is doing something without much purpose or intentionality. Busyness typically is not based on value or growth.

There is a huge difference between choosing to be productive and just being busy.

Eagle Mentality

I bet that you probably did not know this about a bald eagle. The bald eagle can live up to about 70 years. But, at around 30-35 years old, it faces a critical decision. It can either choose to remain the same and face death. Or the bald eagle can choose to go through a radical and painful process and go on to live another 30 years or so.

At about 30 years old, the eagle is halfway through their expected lifespan. At this point in their life, their feathers are old and heavy. Their beak is weaker, worn, and not as sharp as it needs to be. Their talons are long, dull, and weak. The bald eagle cannot survive and thrive in this condition. Its most valuable assets are old, worn down, and inefficient. Their beak, talons, and feathers will not allow the eagle to defend itself or provide for its most basic needs.

The bald eagle has a choice to make. It can choose to remain the same and die. Or it can go through a painful process of removing the old and transforming into something new. If it chooses to go through the transformation, it will take time and be uncomfortable. The bald eagle will fly to a mountain. There it will break off its old beak, and a new, sharper, stronger beak will grow in its place. With its new beak, the eagle will pull out its old and heavy feathers. New, lighter, stronger feathers will replace the old feathers that the eagle pulled out. The eagle will also pull out its old talons. New, stronger, and sharper talons will grow in and replace the old ones.

Similarly, in our lives, there are critical points where we face tough choices. We can either continue life as it comes, or we can intentionally make hard choices and change direction. Difficult decisions sometimes come at a great cost and great pain. Just like the bald eagle, we may have to remove (sometimes painfully) things in our lives that no longer serve our best interests. Sometimes we have to break off things, like people, and habits that are now detrimental to our growth and progress.

However, as hard, difficult, and painful as these hard changes may be. They are necessary. They are going to make room for new growth and opportunity. Without changing what already exists, you cannot make room for what might be. Making changes in your life will lead to changes in your life, and also in and around you. When you cut something negative out, something positive can thrive. Perhaps now is the time for you to make a few life-altering changes. Maybe it is time for you to remove a few things that are holding you back. Or maybe it is time to change course and start living in a new way.

Go For It

Like most people, I am sure that you have had your fair share of events in life that you have encountered with uncertainty or intimidation. Recently my daughter began to do jujitsu. She is starting to really get it, and it is becoming more natural for her. There is a tournament in a few weeks, but she does not want to participate in it. She is afraid and uncertain, and does not want to do the tournament.

As her father, I want what is best for her. I want her to be the best that she can be. Part of that is learning through practice and experience. I know that the tournament would be a great platform and learning experience for her, even if she does not win or medal at the tournament. There are several benefits to simply trying or doing something.

You gain experience. Life provides plenty of opportunities to grow and learn through experience. It may not be easy. It may not be natural. It may be intimidating. But actually attempting something will give you an opportunity to grow through an experience.

You gain wisdom. Actually doing something has great benefit. you can learn things about yourself that you did not know before. You can learn new things about how to approach, navigate, and work through new things.

You gain courage. If you are intimidated or unsure about trying something new, doing it will bolster your courage and experiences. Once you do something, you push your limits and boundaries. That makes new things less intimidating. Once you learn to push your limits and test your fears, it becomes less scary to try other new things.

You grow. Trying new things expands your experience, knowledge, and understanding. Without trying new things, you limit yourself and your growth. As you learn to face fears and try new things, you grow your confidence. The more you do something, or the more often that you try new things, the more you become comfortable with being uncomfortable.

You can help others. One of the greatest things about personal growth is the opportunity to help others. If you learn to grow and do things that are outside of your comfort zone, you can help others do the same. Your example and encouragement can help someone else to push their limits and try things that they may be afraid to try otherwise. Your help and encouragement could be what they need to grow, learn, and experience success.

Even if you are going into something new, uncertain, or unpredictable, you can go into it knowing that on the other side, you will be better for it. Being scared is ok. Do not let that hold you back. Not having experience is ok. Do not let that keep you from trying, experience will come. Trying new things or things that are outside of your comfort zone is a great thing, and you will certainly be better for it. Go for it! You will be glad that you did!

No Regrets

One of the biggest things that I have noticed recently through interacting with people is the fact that so many people choose to settle. They decide to go with the flow. They decide that they should do what everyone else is doing or what other people suggest because that is what you are supposed to do. It is not often that people will truly think for themselves. The majority of the time, people take the path of least resistance. Or they fall in line, where others have already gone and have already blazed a trail. I am a strong believer in the fact that we are all unique, with unique personalities and giftings, and to an extent, we should all be blazing our own trails.

I have realized recently that there are a few things that we can do, so that we do not go through life aimlessly and have many regrets at the end of our life’s journey.

Live with purpose. Everyday is an opportunity. Everyday is a blessing. However, you have to learn to see each day as important and special. You cannot live purposefully, if you wake up and treat each day as ordinary and live it passively. Every single day of your life is a day that you will spend, and there are no do overs or second chances.

Value your time and energy. Each one of us has a limited amount of time that is given to us when we are born. However, we have no idea how much we are given. Your time and energy have incredible value, because you have a supply that is constantly being depleted. So use your time and energy wisely. Spend them on things that matter. Spend them on things that impact and encourage others. Spend your time and energy on things that matter and will last, even after you are gone.

Learn to Prioritize. Learning to prioritize will come as a result of learning to value your time and energy, as well as learning to live with purpose. Prioritizing is arranging things in a list of importance. What matters to you? What things will matter to you when you are gone? What impact do you want to have while you are around? What do you want to be remembered for when you are gone? How you prioritize your life now, will directly affect both of these. What you spend your time and energy on is what you prioritize right now, if you want to change your priorities, then you have to rearrange your schedule and focus to give the best of your time and energy to those people and things that matter to you the most.

Challenge yourself. If you never make changes or try new things, you will continue to live the current life that you live now. If you make small changes today and every day, then your life could look very different in a matter of a year or two. The problem lies in how much you want to make changes. The issue is how badly you want to push yourself and stretch yourself. It comes down to you. You have the choice. It is your decision. You are the one who will have to do the work. Far too many people choose not to challenge themself to grow, stretch, change, or put in the work to get the changes that they want to see or achieve.

Find your purpose. Each one of us is designed and made with different gifts, abilities, passions, and personalities. If your time and energy are incredibly valuable, then so are you. I do not believe that we are to all go with the flow through this life; Going to school, college, getting a job working 30 - 40 years for 40 hours a week, making someone else’s dreams come true. Your gifts and abilities should be used and maximized, not abandoned or minimized. Your personality and passions should be utilized, not shelved and forgotten about. If you have not considered maximizing your purpose, you may end up totally missing out on a huge and critical part of your life and your life’s journey.

We all get one shot at this life. How it turns out is up to us and the decisions we make. There will always be things that happen that are unforeseen and out of our control. But the majority of life is things that we decide and choices that we make in small daily doses. Live with purpose. Learn to prioritize. Learn to spend your time and energy wisely. Find your life’s purpose. And challenge yourself often. Learning to do these things will help you to live a life that is full, beneficial, and intentional. Which will ultimately lead to having minimal regrets when you look back at your life later on.

Look Ahead

Have you ever wanted to have the chance or ability to see into the future. At some point, I think that we all have. We all want to know what is ahead in life. I cannot tell the future, or what exactly is going to happen. However, I have learned that there are things you can do and control that will directly impact your future. Much like the old proverb about sowing and reaping. What you do today and the choices that you make, will directly impact your life. There are things that you can do and control that will affect your future.

First, is to choose your inner circle wisely. Statistically speaking, you will become the average of the five people that you spend the most amount of time with. Your closest friends and family members will directly impact who you become and your future. Your future will be shaped by those that you spend the most time with.

Second, what you choose to consume. What you choose to take in: tv, movies, books, food, and music. All of these will affect you now and also impact and shape your future. What you absorb through your eyes, ears, and mouth will naturally flow through your being, and impact your mind and body. What see and listen to will affect your thoughts and impact your choices. What you eat will impact and affect your body and overall health.

Third, is your attitude. Your attitude, chosen by you, will always have an effect on what you do, and how you do it. The attitude and approach that you choose to have in every situation, will affect how it goes, and how it turns out.

Fourth, is the effort that you give. The effort you give to anything, will directly affect how it goes and turns out. If you only give partial effort or poor effort, do not be surprised when it does not turn out well. However, if you approach everything with a positive attitude and give your best effort, do not be surprised when things go well.

The four of these ( your friends, what you consume, your attitude, and the effort that you give) will shape your future. You may not be able to see or predict the future, however, you can absolutely impact and influence your future. Your choices today will impact and shape the future. Choose wisely and adjust accordingly.

Looking back

Typically, in relation to Looking Back, my advice to people is this: ‘Do not look back, you are not headed that way.’ However, there are a few instances where looking back is acceptable and even beneficial. Here is the catch though, you cannot look forward and move forward, if you are focused or stuck in the past. Here are a few reasons why it ok to temporarily look back.

See how far you have come

From time to time, it is a good idea to look back and see how far you have come. Reflecting on your journey and checking your growth and progress is a good idea. It can be a great encouragement to look back and see just how far you have come, or how much you have changed and grown in various areas. Sometimes, you may meet a previous addict, who will state that they are or have been sober for a period of time. This is a statement of growth, progress, victory, and change. Recognizing personal growth and victory is a huge encouragement, and also provides encouragement to continue on. It can also be a source of encouragement for others who are watching your life and want to follow in similar steps as you have taken.

Lessons Learned

Sometimes, looking back on your life can provide insight. There may be periods in your life when there were pivotal lessons learned. Sometimes those lessons that we learned on our own, can be shared with others who may be in similar positions that you may have once been in. Parents, mentors, teachers, and life coaches have many opportunities to share lessons from their past with those that they are currently impacting and influencing. Sharing experiences and insight can be very beneficial to those who are being mentored.

Checkpoints

From time to time, when we are pursuing goals or specific targets, it can be extremely beneficial to evaluate where you currently are in relation to your specific goals. Looking back to see progress, growth, regression or stagnation can be beneficial for your journey. From time to time, reflecting on where you currently are, or how your journey has gone, you can assess different parts of your life’s journey and how various seasons have gone. This can provide you with the opportunity to assess your life and continue on or to make adjustments, as needed.

Redirection

Looking back and reflecting on where you once were, and how far you have come, can be very beneficial. Especially if you are heading in a direction that is not in the direction you want to go. If you look back and realize that you are off course, you can make adjustments and redirect your course to get back on track.

The rearview mirror in a car is there for a reason. But it is very small. Does it have a purpose? Yes. Is it beneficial? Yes, at times. Now compare the rearview mirror to the windshield. The windshield is much larger. Why? Because the windshield allows you to see where you are headed and the direction that you need to be going.

Here is the catch. It is important to remember and realize what direction you are heading. Forward, not backward or reverse. In order to move forward, you should be focused on moving in that direction, and your energy and effort should be on moving ahead. If you look back too often, you will quickly stop making forward progress, your progress will slow down, or worse you may begin to go off course or reverse course. Looking back from time to time can be helpful and even encouraging. But do not let that make you lose sight of where you are headed.

Lessons Learned

One thing that I have realized recently about people and influencers in general is this; there are some who genuinely want to help you grow and succeed, and there are some who do not. The ones who want you to grow and succeed will take time to teach you and show you lessons that they have learned along their journey. Others will not. In today’s blog, I want to share a few lessons that I have learned along my journey the last few years. Hopefully, they can help, if not right now, perhaps sometime in the future.

You have to try.

If you never try, then you will never know. Simple and profound. Some people never try something new, or something different, and because of that choice, they will never know how things could have gone. Life could go differently and be totally different, if you learn to just try. And, if you actually try something, and it does not work out, at least you can honestly say that you gave it a good shot. But sometimes, when you give something a shot, it works out, or it works out even better than you could have imagined.

- Wayne Gretzky once said, “You miss 100% of the shots that you don’t take.”

Attitude determines altitude.

Your attitude, how you look at and approach things in life, will determine much of the process and outcome of whatever it is that you are doing. If you approach a task with a negative attitude, I can almost guarantee that you will do it with a negative approach and less than your best effort, which will lead to a less-than-ideal outcome. However, if you approach the same task with a positive attitude, I can almost guarantee that you will approach it with more energy and give better effort. Which typically leads to a good and beneficial outcome.

- Zig Ziglar “Your attitude, not your aptitude, will determine your altitude.’

Discipline is critical.

Discipline is a character trait that can literally make or break dreams, goals, and lives. Discipline comes down to the choices that we make on a daily or regular basis. Discipline develops structure and habits that are beneficial to life and pursuing goals. The lack of discipline reveals a lack of structure, good habits, and self-control. The lack of discipline will always result in; lack of focus, lack of effort, sporadic or empty action, and often lots of wasted time. Discipline provides structure and growth through wise choices.

- “You can have excuses, or results, but not both.” - unknown

Learn as you go.

Bottom line, you do not know everything. I know that as humans we like to think that we do. But the truth is, we do not. Too many times I have seen people, myself included, refuse or simply not try something because of fear or the fact that they are not sure of the outcome. Here is the secret. Take the step. Take the shot. Give your best effort. If you never try, then you will never know. As you learn to take things one step at a time, you will see that it is not that bad. And you will learn that you learn new things along the way.

- “If you keep doing what you have always done, then you will keep getting what you have always gotten.” - unknown

I wanted to share these lessons that I have learned, as 2023 wraps up and 2024 starts. Hopefully, these will help and encourage you in the year ahead.

Once in a lifetime

How many times do we hear the line quoted “once in a lifetime?” I think we hear this quoted often, and most of the time it is not really true. Oftentimes, this line is used to get our attention and draw us in. Often times it is used in a sales aspect or to get us to panic.

However, I want you to think about and apply the line ‘once in a lifetime,’ to every single day that you wake up. I want you to start seeing every day as a “once in a lifetime.’ Why would I suggest that? I truly believe that everyone should approach every single day that you get to live, as once in a lifetime. Think about it. Every single day that comes and goes is just like the ones before, and like the ones that will come after. But, the thing is, that you only get to live each day, as it comes. Each day is unique. Each day is a twenty-four-hour window that arrives quickly and closes quickly.

Every day is truly a ‘once in a lifetime’ event. There are no options or ways to redo, go back, or relive a day that has already passed. This makes each and every day valuable and special. There will be things about today that will never be duplicated. And when today is over, there will be no way to go back and re-live it.

I think we should start looking at every day as a ‘once in a lifetime,’ as opposed to just another day. When we see each day, as just another day, there is no excitement or value. But, when we view each day as, once in a lifetime, there is excitement and value!

How would your life be different, if you approached every day with the realization that today is a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity and moment? How would your life be different if you chose to have this perspective on a daily basis? How would you approach your family, kids, and friends differently, if you approached each day with this reality in mind?

Struggle Produces Strength

Nobody likes to hear words like struggle, hardship, labor-intensive, or difficult. These words indicate a less-than-ideal situation or scenario. Words like these indicate that the road ahead, at least for a little while, will be challenging and uncomfortable.

Nobody enjoys going through difficult things. Nobody likes being uncomfortable. But, what if we could reframe our perspective about the struggles that we face. Struggles and hard times provide opportunities that easy times do not. Struggles and hard times can be used to develop a variety of skills, abilities, strength, creativity and endurance. During easy periods of our life, we do not need to develop, grow or change. But struggles and hard times provide a need and opportunity for growth and change.

I am not sure how familiar you may be with wrestling or jujitsu, but these two sports provide a great example for blog. You see, in wrestling and jujitsu, competitors struggle and grind through practices everyday. But everyday that they struggle and grind in practice, they are actually developing strength and endurance for the future. The more they struggle and grind today, the better and more prepared they are for tomorrow. The harder they push themselves in the discomfort of today’s practice, the better and more prepared they are for the matches and tournaments in the future.

Athletes of all kinds learn and understand that the hard things like: early morning practices, late night practices, running, sprints, weight training, resistance workouts, and other hard parts of training all have a purpose. They do not really enjoy the grueling work and labor, but they know that it is necessary to compete and succeed.

The same concepts goes for you and me in our lives. There are easy seasons in life. And there are very difficult seasons in life. We do not enjoy going into or being in a hard season in this life. But rather than cower down, or try to avoid these seasons. Why not embrace them? Why not go through them with the attitude of trying to learn and grow through them? What if going through hard times with a different attitude leads to greater growth and a better perspective about the future? What if learning through a struggle allows you to help and encourage others when they are going through difficult times?

Nobody likes to struggle. Nobody likes to work hard. Nobody likes to be uncomfortable. Nobody likes to go through storms and face challenges in this life. However, if you can change your perspective and are willing to learn, then the struggles that you face will produce strength, endurance, and character.